Monday, October 30, 2006
Insider Secrets On How To Read Body-Language
Interpreting vital meanings signalled by posture, gesture and expression
You expect a professional keynote speaker to know a bit about body-language. But when her main subject is self-empowerment, you can be sure you’re getting an extra special brand of insight into the mysteries of non-verbal communication.
“It’s more spontaneous than speech, and often more revealing” says popular motivational speaker Carole Spiers, who regularly addresses management audiences all over the world on a theme that she has made her own: sustainable success.
To be able to interpret that huge hidden vocabulary of body, hand and face is clearly a major asset in business (as well as social life), and should be part of any manager’s toolkit of soft skills. By improving your reading of people, it will improve your reading of whole situations. It can give you the advantage in tough interviews or sales pitches, by providing you with tactical intelligence that you can react-to on the spot. Altogether, it simply turns you into a higher grade of communicator.
As a motivational keynote speaker, Carole has both interpreted and utilised body-language to a high degree, and few people are better equipped to enlighten you about it.
The following tips are just a sample of the many fascinating insights into body-language that Carole has acquired from in-depth study and first-hand observation across twenty years:
When standing…
(i) Head posture
The position of the head reveals much about your attitude towards the other person. The erect posture indicates a neutral position, suitable for inviting a newcomer to state his business. A sideways tilt expresses active interest and encouragement. The lowered ‘charging bull’ angle means hostility and suspicion.
(ii) The hands
Arms crossed or held across the stomach indicate a defensive stance, discouraging an approach. Hands behind the back assert formality, perhaps calling us to order. Hands in pockets clearly show disrespect, and hand-wringing means uncertainty. Best keep the hands loosely held at the sides, casual but alert.
When sitting…
(i) Facial expression
This should normally be kept neutral to avoid distractions and encourage steady dialogue, except when occasionally smiling agreement or registering mild surprise. Fully-raised eyebrows indicate disbelief, half-lowered brows show puzzlement and fully-lowered brows signal anger.
(ii) Gestures
Open palms invite confidence. Gripping the chair suggests inhibition. Thumb gestures indicate control, but may be found disrespectful. Steepled fingers inspire confidence, but can look patronising. A single nod can improve the atmosphere remarkably, as well as relieving an awkward stare.
Communication skills are only one area of Empowerment and Personal Development in which keynote professional speaker Carole Spiers has acquired her enviable niche on the speaking circuit in the UK and abroad.
See Carole live at London Ecademy – lst November 2006
http://www.ecademy.com/module.php?mod=meeting&mid=12163
Carole Spiers – inspirational motivational speaker occupies a special niche as an expert in Personal Development. She brings together the separate cultures of individual empowerment and executive management - proving to corporate business that empowered employees improve performance and output. Carole’s keynote presentations have educated and inspired audiences all over the world. She is also a high profile broadcaster, journalist and President of the London Chapter of the Professional Speakers Association.
Our publications and sales CDs have been sold globally. To sign up for our FREE success quotations http://tinyurl.co.uk/yhgv, or for more information email info@carolespiers.com to telephone +44 (0) 29 8954 1593 www.carolespiers.com
You expect a professional keynote speaker to know a bit about body-language. But when her main subject is self-empowerment, you can be sure you’re getting an extra special brand of insight into the mysteries of non-verbal communication.
“It’s more spontaneous than speech, and often more revealing” says popular motivational speaker Carole Spiers, who regularly addresses management audiences all over the world on a theme that she has made her own: sustainable success.
To be able to interpret that huge hidden vocabulary of body, hand and face is clearly a major asset in business (as well as social life), and should be part of any manager’s toolkit of soft skills. By improving your reading of people, it will improve your reading of whole situations. It can give you the advantage in tough interviews or sales pitches, by providing you with tactical intelligence that you can react-to on the spot. Altogether, it simply turns you into a higher grade of communicator.
As a motivational keynote speaker, Carole has both interpreted and utilised body-language to a high degree, and few people are better equipped to enlighten you about it.
The following tips are just a sample of the many fascinating insights into body-language that Carole has acquired from in-depth study and first-hand observation across twenty years:
When standing…
(i) Head posture
The position of the head reveals much about your attitude towards the other person. The erect posture indicates a neutral position, suitable for inviting a newcomer to state his business. A sideways tilt expresses active interest and encouragement. The lowered ‘charging bull’ angle means hostility and suspicion.
(ii) The hands
Arms crossed or held across the stomach indicate a defensive stance, discouraging an approach. Hands behind the back assert formality, perhaps calling us to order. Hands in pockets clearly show disrespect, and hand-wringing means uncertainty. Best keep the hands loosely held at the sides, casual but alert.
When sitting…
(i) Facial expression
This should normally be kept neutral to avoid distractions and encourage steady dialogue, except when occasionally smiling agreement or registering mild surprise. Fully-raised eyebrows indicate disbelief, half-lowered brows show puzzlement and fully-lowered brows signal anger.
(ii) Gestures
Open palms invite confidence. Gripping the chair suggests inhibition. Thumb gestures indicate control, but may be found disrespectful. Steepled fingers inspire confidence, but can look patronising. A single nod can improve the atmosphere remarkably, as well as relieving an awkward stare.
Communication skills are only one area of Empowerment and Personal Development in which keynote professional speaker Carole Spiers has acquired her enviable niche on the speaking circuit in the UK and abroad.
See Carole live at London Ecademy – lst November 2006
http://www.ecademy.com/module.php?mod=meeting&mid=12163
Carole Spiers – inspirational motivational speaker occupies a special niche as an expert in Personal Development. She brings together the separate cultures of individual empowerment and executive management - proving to corporate business that empowered employees improve performance and output. Carole’s keynote presentations have educated and inspired audiences all over the world. She is also a high profile broadcaster, journalist and President of the London Chapter of the Professional Speakers Association.
Our publications and sales CDs have been sold globally. To sign up for our FREE success quotations http://tinyurl.co.uk/yhgv, or for more information email info@carolespiers.com to telephone +44 (0) 29 8954 1593 www.carolespiers.com
# posted by Carole Spiers @ 11:52 PM 
Insider Secrets On How To Read Body-Language
Interpreting vital meanings signalled by posture, gesture and expression
You expect a professional keynote speaker to know a bit about body-language. But when her main subject is self-empowerment, you can be sure you’re getting an extra special brand of insight into the mysteries of non-verbal communication.
“It’s more spontaneous than speech, and often more revealing” says popular motivational speaker Carole Spiers, who regularly addresses management audiences all over the world on a theme that she has made her own: sustainable success.
To be able to interpret that huge hidden vocabulary of body, hand and face is clearly a major asset in business (as well as social life), and should be part of any manager’s toolkit of soft skills. By improving your reading of people, it will improve your reading of whole situations. It can give you the advantage in tough interviews or sales pitches, by providing you with tactical intelligence that you can react-to on the spot. Altogether, it simply turns you into a higher grade of communicator.
As a motivational keynote speaker, Carole has both interpreted and utilised body-language to a high degree, and few people are better equipped to enlighten you about it.
The following tips are just a sample of the many fascinating insights into body-language that Carole has acquired from in-depth study and first-hand observation across twenty years:
When standing…
(i) Head posture
The position of the head reveals much about your attitude towards the other person. The erect posture indicates a neutral position, suitable for inviting a newcomer to state his business. A sideways tilt expresses active interest and encouragement. The lowered ‘charging bull’ angle means hostility and suspicion.
(ii) The hands
Arms crossed or held across the stomach indicate a defensive stance, discouraging an approach. Hands behind the back assert formality, perhaps calling us to order. Hands in pockets clearly show disrespect, and hand-wringing means uncertainty. Best keep the hands loosely held at the sides, casual but alert.
When sitting…
(i) Facial expression
This should normally be kept neutral to avoid distractions and encourage steady dialogue, except when occasionally smiling agreement or registering mild surprise. Fully-raised eyebrows indicate disbelief, half-lowered brows show puzzlement and fully-lowered brows signal anger.
(ii) Gestures
Open palms invite confidence. Gripping the chair suggests inhibition. Thumb gestures indicate control, but may be found disrespectful. Steepled fingers inspire confidence, but can look patronising. A single nod can improve the atmosphere remarkably, as well as relieving an awkward stare.
Communication skills are only one area of Empowerment and Personal Development in which keynote professional speaker Carole Spiers has acquired her enviable niche on the speaking circuit in the UK and abroad.
See Carole live at London Ecademy – lst November 2006http://www.ecademy.com/module.php?mod=meeting&mid=12163
Carole Spiers – inspirational motivational speaker occupies a special niche as an expert in Personal Development. She brings together the separate cultures of individual empowerment and executive management - proving to corporate business that empowered employees improve performance and output. Carole’s keynote presentations have educated and inspired audiences all over the world. She is also a high profile broadcaster, journalist and President of the London Chapter of the Professional Speakers Association.
Our publications and sales CDs have been sold globally. To sign up for our FREE success quotations http://tinyurl.co.uk/yhgv, or for more information email info@carolespiers.com to telephone +44 (0) 29 8954 1593 www.carolespiers.com
You expect a professional keynote speaker to know a bit about body-language. But when her main subject is self-empowerment, you can be sure you’re getting an extra special brand of insight into the mysteries of non-verbal communication.
“It’s more spontaneous than speech, and often more revealing” says popular motivational speaker Carole Spiers, who regularly addresses management audiences all over the world on a theme that she has made her own: sustainable success.
To be able to interpret that huge hidden vocabulary of body, hand and face is clearly a major asset in business (as well as social life), and should be part of any manager’s toolkit of soft skills. By improving your reading of people, it will improve your reading of whole situations. It can give you the advantage in tough interviews or sales pitches, by providing you with tactical intelligence that you can react-to on the spot. Altogether, it simply turns you into a higher grade of communicator.
As a motivational keynote speaker, Carole has both interpreted and utilised body-language to a high degree, and few people are better equipped to enlighten you about it.
The following tips are just a sample of the many fascinating insights into body-language that Carole has acquired from in-depth study and first-hand observation across twenty years:
When standing…
(i) Head posture
The position of the head reveals much about your attitude towards the other person. The erect posture indicates a neutral position, suitable for inviting a newcomer to state his business. A sideways tilt expresses active interest and encouragement. The lowered ‘charging bull’ angle means hostility and suspicion.
(ii) The hands
Arms crossed or held across the stomach indicate a defensive stance, discouraging an approach. Hands behind the back assert formality, perhaps calling us to order. Hands in pockets clearly show disrespect, and hand-wringing means uncertainty. Best keep the hands loosely held at the sides, casual but alert.
When sitting…
(i) Facial expression
This should normally be kept neutral to avoid distractions and encourage steady dialogue, except when occasionally smiling agreement or registering mild surprise. Fully-raised eyebrows indicate disbelief, half-lowered brows show puzzlement and fully-lowered brows signal anger.
(ii) Gestures
Open palms invite confidence. Gripping the chair suggests inhibition. Thumb gestures indicate control, but may be found disrespectful. Steepled fingers inspire confidence, but can look patronising. A single nod can improve the atmosphere remarkably, as well as relieving an awkward stare.
Communication skills are only one area of Empowerment and Personal Development in which keynote professional speaker Carole Spiers has acquired her enviable niche on the speaking circuit in the UK and abroad.
See Carole live at London Ecademy – lst November 2006http://www.ecademy.com/module.php?mod=meeting&mid=12163
Carole Spiers – inspirational motivational speaker occupies a special niche as an expert in Personal Development. She brings together the separate cultures of individual empowerment and executive management - proving to corporate business that empowered employees improve performance and output. Carole’s keynote presentations have educated and inspired audiences all over the world. She is also a high profile broadcaster, journalist and President of the London Chapter of the Professional Speakers Association.
Our publications and sales CDs have been sold globally. To sign up for our FREE success quotations http://tinyurl.co.uk/yhgv, or for more information email info@carolespiers.com to telephone +44 (0) 29 8954 1593 www.carolespiers.com
# posted by Carole Spiers @ 11:52 PM
Saturday, October 28, 2006
Hot Tips For First-time Public Speakers!
Yes, they came to hear you in person - so be confidently yourself!
Take it from a professional keynote speaker: nothing succeeds like confidence, and nothing turns-off an audience more than modesty and self-effacement.
Motivational speaker Carole Spiers gives presentations to all levels of corporate managers on the secrets of career success, and one favourite subject is the challenge of first-time public speaking, where the subject is most likely to be you and your career.
The personalisation dilemma
As a first-time speaker, your main inhibition is a familiar one called ‘Little Me?’ You cannot believe they actually want to hear the life-story of someone as unimportant as you feel you are.
Well, that’s why they came along in the first place. So for the duration of your speech, you are not unimportant at all. They’re looking forward to a confident performance, full of interesting revelations about your speciality - strongly personalised to yourself. If they wanted a purely factual digest, they could go to a library or the web. At a live show, they’re expecting to learn new things, and be entertained along the way by a speaker who can strike up rapport, and make each of them feel that you’re addressing them personally.
That leads to the second inhibition - individual or collective appeal?
On one level, you are addressing them individually, as on TV, where first-time speakers have to be reminded that they are not addressing a crowd of five million but just chatting to that couple on the sofa. So for example, you learn not to say “I expect some of you have been to Mexico…”. You personalise direct to the listener: “You may have been to Mexico…”
But on another level, you cannot act as though you’re just greeting one individual stranger, starting with small talk about the weather and nice to see you. Up on a platform, the warm-up chat is a sign of fear, almost appeasement, an apology for what is to come. Up there, you’re the showman in charge of an audience, and you have to master them with extreme confidence, possibly even verging on arrogance - the right mix of cheek and charm. And you have to start at once.
Four basic drills to remember
1. Come out punching
Your opening statement should be the opposite of small-talk, which is everything people expect to hear. It should be everything they don’t expect to hear (short of a pure gimmick based on no substance.) It should astonish, challenge or intrigue - definitely leaving them wondering what’s coming next.
2. The so-what factor
It’s worth taping your speech and screening it for any statement that fails to say something new or interesting. It is all too easy for a single so-what remark to lose the whole attention of an audience. You should even avoid “Nice to be here in Nottingham”. Analyse that, and you’ll find it’s a complete so-what.
3. Humour - that two-edged sword
Strictly, your speech ought to be strong enough to work without humour. Also there are many speakers whose personality simply doesn’t suit humour, so the comedy then sounds forced. Yet audiences find it unnatural not to laugh now and again, so the odd (new) joke could help flavour the mix.
4. Dramatising your career as the subject
If they want to hear about your career, tell it like a proper story with a beginning, a middle and an end, tracing the course of your progress. Remind them how humbly you began. Tell them about the people who influenced you. Describe the turning-points in a dramatic way. And reassure them how they could excel too.
Public speaking skills are only one area of Empowerment and Personal Development in which keynote professional speaker Carole Spiers has acquired during her enviable niche on the professional circuit in the UK and abroad.
See Carole live at London Ecademy – lst November 2006
http://www.ecademy.com/module.php?mod=meeting&mid=12163
Carole Spiers – inspirational motivational speaker occupies a special niche as an expert in Personal Development. She brings together the separate cultures of individual empowerment and executive management - proving to corporate business that empowered employees improve performance and output. Carole’s keynote presentations have educated and inspired audiences all over the world. She is also a high profile broadcaster, journalist and President of the London Chapter of the Professional Speakers Association.
Our publications and sales CDs have been sold globally. To sign up for our FREE success quotations http://tinyurl.co.uk/yhgv, or for more information email info@carolespiers.com to telephone +44 (0) 29 8954 1593 www.carolespiers.com
Take it from a professional keynote speaker: nothing succeeds like confidence, and nothing turns-off an audience more than modesty and self-effacement.
Motivational speaker Carole Spiers gives presentations to all levels of corporate managers on the secrets of career success, and one favourite subject is the challenge of first-time public speaking, where the subject is most likely to be you and your career.
The personalisation dilemma
As a first-time speaker, your main inhibition is a familiar one called ‘Little Me?’ You cannot believe they actually want to hear the life-story of someone as unimportant as you feel you are.
Well, that’s why they came along in the first place. So for the duration of your speech, you are not unimportant at all. They’re looking forward to a confident performance, full of interesting revelations about your speciality - strongly personalised to yourself. If they wanted a purely factual digest, they could go to a library or the web. At a live show, they’re expecting to learn new things, and be entertained along the way by a speaker who can strike up rapport, and make each of them feel that you’re addressing them personally.
That leads to the second inhibition - individual or collective appeal?
On one level, you are addressing them individually, as on TV, where first-time speakers have to be reminded that they are not addressing a crowd of five million but just chatting to that couple on the sofa. So for example, you learn not to say “I expect some of you have been to Mexico…”. You personalise direct to the listener: “You may have been to Mexico…”
But on another level, you cannot act as though you’re just greeting one individual stranger, starting with small talk about the weather and nice to see you. Up on a platform, the warm-up chat is a sign of fear, almost appeasement, an apology for what is to come. Up there, you’re the showman in charge of an audience, and you have to master them with extreme confidence, possibly even verging on arrogance - the right mix of cheek and charm. And you have to start at once.
Four basic drills to remember
1. Come out punching
Your opening statement should be the opposite of small-talk, which is everything people expect to hear. It should be everything they don’t expect to hear (short of a pure gimmick based on no substance.) It should astonish, challenge or intrigue - definitely leaving them wondering what’s coming next.
2. The so-what factor
It’s worth taping your speech and screening it for any statement that fails to say something new or interesting. It is all too easy for a single so-what remark to lose the whole attention of an audience. You should even avoid “Nice to be here in Nottingham”. Analyse that, and you’ll find it’s a complete so-what.
3. Humour - that two-edged sword
Strictly, your speech ought to be strong enough to work without humour. Also there are many speakers whose personality simply doesn’t suit humour, so the comedy then sounds forced. Yet audiences find it unnatural not to laugh now and again, so the odd (new) joke could help flavour the mix.
4. Dramatising your career as the subject
If they want to hear about your career, tell it like a proper story with a beginning, a middle and an end, tracing the course of your progress. Remind them how humbly you began. Tell them about the people who influenced you. Describe the turning-points in a dramatic way. And reassure them how they could excel too.
Public speaking skills are only one area of Empowerment and Personal Development in which keynote professional speaker Carole Spiers has acquired during her enviable niche on the professional circuit in the UK and abroad.
See Carole live at London Ecademy – lst November 2006
http://www.ecademy.com/module.php?mod=meeting&mid=12163
Carole Spiers – inspirational motivational speaker occupies a special niche as an expert in Personal Development. She brings together the separate cultures of individual empowerment and executive management - proving to corporate business that empowered employees improve performance and output. Carole’s keynote presentations have educated and inspired audiences all over the world. She is also a high profile broadcaster, journalist and President of the London Chapter of the Professional Speakers Association.
Our publications and sales CDs have been sold globally. To sign up for our FREE success quotations http://tinyurl.co.uk/yhgv, or for more information email info@carolespiers.com to telephone +44 (0) 29 8954 1593 www.carolespiers.com
# posted by Carole Spiers @ 9:17 PM
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
The Truth Behind Your Good and Bad Listening Habits!
How your reactions to dialogue can steer whole interviews your way!
“Half the conversational skill is listening - and it is the neglected half” says keynote professional speaker Carole Spiers, who regularly addresses blue-chip corporate business on self-development and the formula for sustainable success.
It’s true. All the famous tips on dialogue management seem to be about speaking. The supposedly passive listening role is seldom touched-on.
Yet listening is far from passive. It can be performed in many different ways and has a rich vocabulary of its own. By actively steering conversations (including key interviews for example), good listening is a major engine of persuasion and change, and should occupy an important place in any management skills portfolio.
“Half the conversational skill is listening - and it is the neglected half” says keynote professional speaker Carole Spiers, who regularly addresses blue-chip corporate business on self-development and the formula for sustainable success.
It’s true. All the famous tips on dialogue management seem to be about speaking. The supposedly passive listening role is seldom touched-on.
Yet listening is far from passive. It can be performed in many different ways and has a rich vocabulary of its own. By actively steering conversations (including key interviews for example), good listening is a major engine of persuasion and change, and should occupy an important place in any management skills portfolio.
As a motivational speaker, Carole Spiers has introduced many management groups to the subject of good and bad listening for the first time, drawing attention to three main factors:
Unfocused listening - through divided attentionYou need to identify certain common obstacles that inhibit good listening, and try to manage them. One is the clash of rhythms. We listen four times faster than we speak, so we may irritate the other person by trying to finish their sentences for them. Or if we’re bored, we may slip into the cocktail-party “Mmm…”, while thinking of something else. Or if the subject is going over our head, we may ‘parrot’ some of the statements, to give a false impression of understanding. Naturally any outside hubbub will also compete for our attention (and theirs), affecting comprehension and upsetting the atmosphere.
Active listening - guiding with minimal interventions
Professional counsellors often have to draw out reluctant interviewees - perhaps trauma victims or people who won’t accept that they need help. At these times, it is necessary to adopt a special ‘active listening’ mode that stimulates a continuing momentum of dialogue from the other person, through minimal interruption. Discreet hand-signals and invitations like “And then…?” can get over awkward silences. Periodically give brief reassurances that prove you have not only heard but interpreted the dialogue, however obliquely coded, sometimes via their body-language.
The Empathy factor - essential catalyst of rapport
Nothing gives more impetus to an interview than a feeling that the other person warmly empathises with you. By being genuinely yourself, you encourage them to respond in kind, and the dialogue will be far more revealing and productive. Obviously, exploit everything you have in common. But if your differences are greater than your similarities, you must try hard to visualise the other person’s emotional landscape, as though you were writing a novel about them. By sharing their experiences rather than judging them, you gain important access to the world they live in.
The difference between good and bad listening is one of many original insights into the field of Empowerment and Personal Development by professional keynote speaker Carole Spiers.
See Carole live at London Ecademy – lst November 2006http://www.ecademy.com/module.php?mod=meeting&mid=12163
Carole Spiers – inspirational motivational speaker occupies a special niche as an expert in Personal Development. She brings together the separate cultures of individual empowerment and executive management - proving to corporate business that empowered employees improve performance and output. Carole’s keynote presentations have educated and inspired audiences all over the world. She is also a high profile broadcaster, journalist and President of the London Chapter of the Professional Speakers Association.
Our publications and sales CDs have been sold globally. To sign up for our FREE success quotations
# posted by Carole Spiers @ 11:37 PM
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
The Inner Secrets to Asking Questions
The art of the interviewer - commanding and controlling dialogue
“The adroit handling of conversation is a major instrument of empowerment” - says keynote professional speaker Carole Spiers, who regularly addresses blue-chip corporate business on self-development and the formula for sustainable success.
Among that toolbox of key stategies, a well-honed conversational skill could greatly amplify your powers of persuasion, control of events and building of relationships.
And nothing drives a conversation more effectively than carefully-chosen questions that stimulate without appearing to interrogate.
Professional interviewers, journalists, barristers, detectives, psychiatrists… all have found it invaluable to study questioning techniques in-depth, as part of their professional armour and ammunition.
But whatever your job or other circumstances, it will pay you to do the same - starting with this simple breakdown of the four most basic types of question, and what each of them is intended to achieve.
· Closed questions - inviting one-word answers
Precise, quiz-type questions, suitable for eliciting hard information. Often used as the ‘opening shot’ in a longer debate, establishing the subject via a short, brisk exchange, before exploring it in a more sensitive manner. Also appropriate for speeding-up dialogue or for getting a drifting conversation back on course, with a suggestion of “Now let’s get down to brass tacks”, as well as for ending an interview on a businesslike note. Closed questions should be used sparingly, as too many of them could sound like an interrogation, and set up a negative atmosphere.
· Open questions - encouraging detailed response
These are aimed at generating answers that convey meanings and attitudes in depth. They tend to start with the trigger-words ‘How? Where? When?’ etc (though you should ration your use of the more confrontational ‘Why?’.) If you can make interviewees feel flattered that you want their opinion, they are more likely to release ‘free information’, or revelations they might otherwise keep to themselves. It is possible for a question to be too open, as when a wife may ask her husband “What sort of day?”, and he finds it too broad a picture to focus on, and just mumbles an unsatisfactory “Not bad.”
· Leading questions - subtle moving of goalposts
An ingenious way of nudging the other person towards your way of thinking (and also speeding-up dialogue in the style of the Closed Question.) It discreetly suggests that your opposite number has already moved halfway towards agreeing with you, and is weighing-up a somewhat different decision from the one originally proposed. It exploits most people’s tendency to say “Yes” when asked “Do you agree?” or “Don’t you think?” - simply because it’s easier. A salesman will always ask which you prefer of two items, rather than asking whether you’re interested in either of them in the first place.
· Rhetorical questions - engaging empathy
These are questions that do not expect an answer, but are simply statements, dramatised in the form of questions. Their effect is to make the other person feel as though the question is being addressed by both of you to some imaginary third party - and that you are sitting beside each other, not opposite. So it represents the supreme anti-confrontational stance. A good salesman might use a string of these questions for greater impact: “Who could possibly resist that new deep-sprung sofa? Doesn’t it blend with cream wallpaper? Don’t you love the feel of the leather?” etc. etc.
These aspects of Self-empowerment are among many original insights into the field of Personal Development by motivational speaker Carole Spiers who will be speaking at London Ecademy on lst November 2006 –http://www.ecademy.com/module.php?mod=meeting&mid=12163
Carole Spiers – inspirational motivational speaker occupies a special niche as an expert in Personal Development. She brings together the separate cultures of individual empowerment and executive management - proving to corporate business that empowered employees improve performance and output. Carole’s keynote presentations have educated and inspired audiences all over the world. She is also a high profile broadcaster, journalist and President of the London Chapter of the Professional Speakers Association.
Our publications and sales CDs have been sold globally. To sign up for our FREE success quotations http://tinyurl.co.uk/yhgv, or for more information email info@carolespiers.com to telephone +44 (0) 29 8954 1593 www.carolespiers.com
“The adroit handling of conversation is a major instrument of empowerment” - says keynote professional speaker Carole Spiers, who regularly addresses blue-chip corporate business on self-development and the formula for sustainable success.
Among that toolbox of key stategies, a well-honed conversational skill could greatly amplify your powers of persuasion, control of events and building of relationships.
And nothing drives a conversation more effectively than carefully-chosen questions that stimulate without appearing to interrogate.
Professional interviewers, journalists, barristers, detectives, psychiatrists… all have found it invaluable to study questioning techniques in-depth, as part of their professional armour and ammunition.
But whatever your job or other circumstances, it will pay you to do the same - starting with this simple breakdown of the four most basic types of question, and what each of them is intended to achieve.
· Closed questions - inviting one-word answers
Precise, quiz-type questions, suitable for eliciting hard information. Often used as the ‘opening shot’ in a longer debate, establishing the subject via a short, brisk exchange, before exploring it in a more sensitive manner. Also appropriate for speeding-up dialogue or for getting a drifting conversation back on course, with a suggestion of “Now let’s get down to brass tacks”, as well as for ending an interview on a businesslike note. Closed questions should be used sparingly, as too many of them could sound like an interrogation, and set up a negative atmosphere.
· Open questions - encouraging detailed response
These are aimed at generating answers that convey meanings and attitudes in depth. They tend to start with the trigger-words ‘How? Where? When?’ etc (though you should ration your use of the more confrontational ‘Why?’.) If you can make interviewees feel flattered that you want their opinion, they are more likely to release ‘free information’, or revelations they might otherwise keep to themselves. It is possible for a question to be too open, as when a wife may ask her husband “What sort of day?”, and he finds it too broad a picture to focus on, and just mumbles an unsatisfactory “Not bad.”
· Leading questions - subtle moving of goalposts
An ingenious way of nudging the other person towards your way of thinking (and also speeding-up dialogue in the style of the Closed Question.) It discreetly suggests that your opposite number has already moved halfway towards agreeing with you, and is weighing-up a somewhat different decision from the one originally proposed. It exploits most people’s tendency to say “Yes” when asked “Do you agree?” or “Don’t you think?” - simply because it’s easier. A salesman will always ask which you prefer of two items, rather than asking whether you’re interested in either of them in the first place.
· Rhetorical questions - engaging empathy
These are questions that do not expect an answer, but are simply statements, dramatised in the form of questions. Their effect is to make the other person feel as though the question is being addressed by both of you to some imaginary third party - and that you are sitting beside each other, not opposite. So it represents the supreme anti-confrontational stance. A good salesman might use a string of these questions for greater impact: “Who could possibly resist that new deep-sprung sofa? Doesn’t it blend with cream wallpaper? Don’t you love the feel of the leather?” etc. etc.
These aspects of Self-empowerment are among many original insights into the field of Personal Development by motivational speaker Carole Spiers who will be speaking at London Ecademy on lst November 2006 –http://www.ecademy.com/module.php?mod=meeting&mid=12163
Carole Spiers – inspirational motivational speaker occupies a special niche as an expert in Personal Development. She brings together the separate cultures of individual empowerment and executive management - proving to corporate business that empowered employees improve performance and output. Carole’s keynote presentations have educated and inspired audiences all over the world. She is also a high profile broadcaster, journalist and President of the London Chapter of the Professional Speakers Association.
Our publications and sales CDs have been sold globally. To sign up for our FREE success quotations http://tinyurl.co.uk/yhgv, or for more information email info@carolespiers.com to telephone +44 (0) 29 8954 1593 www.carolespiers.com
# posted by Carole Spiers @ 11:00 PM
Saturday, October 21, 2006
'Don’t take everything so personally' - International keynote professional speaker Carole Spiers says count ten and stay out of that defensive mode...
As a motivational speaker who has counselled and trained vastly differing kinds of people in business, I have noticed how widespread is the tendency to interpret ordinary straightforward statements and questions as personal criticism.
This misunderstanding clearly causes much enmity and bad blood, as well as hampering important meetings and generally slowing down the pace of business dialogue.
Being a woman, of course, I know I’m in the danger zone myself (“You women always have to personalise”), as I was reminded not long ago when I was Event Host at a large conference, where my hosts were particularly quick to point out my supposed errors of stance, posture, movement and dress, every time I came off the platform. My first instinct was to reject this tactless intervention out of hand. Instead I counted to ten, calmly considering what had been said, and then thanked them for their input. While I did not agree with much of it, I could regard it as professional feedback from paying clients who were entitled to their point of view. (And I would accept that feedback has its value to a platform artist - we do actually need to be updated on how others see us.)
That little pause for thought…
So you see, a few seconds was enough to shift the emphasis from personal to professional.
I wish another recent interviewee of mine had taken similar thought, when I needed to tap him for some detailed information on his speciality, in which I was a total novice. It is true that I had to ask some quite penetrating questions, which I tried my best to put to him in a non-inquisitorial manner. Unfortunately he interpreted this as some kind of oral exam, with his expertise under review, and he felt it necessary to keep explaining how well-qualified he was. It is easy to recognise this as a deeply defensive response, and as such, highly impulsive. It did not occur to him that he had meanwhile failed to supply the answers I was needing.
If he’d counted to ten, he probably would have done.
“You” doesn’t always mean you personally
One typical high-risk zone for over-personalising is the customer-service department, where you are always being told that ‘you’ have failed to do this, that and the other. Especially as the complaint is liable to be made in angry and insulting terms.
At those times, you must remember that the complaints refer not to you personally, but to the organisation as a whole. Of course, you may feel defensive on behalf of the organisation too. But in framing your response, remember that the situation has everything to do with the caller’s situation, possibly a sudden crisis, in which you may have found yourself at some time. And that should make you feel a lot less defensive on your own part - and more professional at the same time.
Again, ten should do it!
Carole Spiers – inspirational keynote professional speaker occupies a special niche as an expert in Personal Development. She brings together the separate cultures of individual empowerment and executive management - proving to corporate business that empowered employees improve performance and output. Carole’s keynote presentations have educated and inspired audiences all over the world. She is also a high profile broadcaster, journalist and President of the London Chapter of the Professional Speakers Association.
Our publications and sales CDs have been sold globally. To sign up for our FREE success quotations http://tinyurl.co.uk/yhgv, or for more information email info@carolespiers.com to telephone +44 (0) 29 8954 1593 www.carolespiers.com
See Carole live at London Ecademy - lst November 2006
http://www.ecademy.com/module.php?mod=meeting&mid=12163
# posted by Carole Spiers @ 5:31 PM
